is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
