remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
