I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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