K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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