Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
