He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
