sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
