I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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