i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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