how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
