I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
