Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
