Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
