You can't motorboat a personality
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just found a bag of teeth...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
