u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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