drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
