A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
