VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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