Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
