You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
