i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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