we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Quick, to the slutcave!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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