very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
