Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
