Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
