dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
