Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
