Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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