we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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