There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
