yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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