TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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