the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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