Christians are straight up FREAKS
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
