Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What a dumb baby whore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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