I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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