you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
