sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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