I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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