I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize