i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
