I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
