when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize