An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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