evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
