i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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