Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
