Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
