I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
