Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
not ubering you a puppy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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