awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
