You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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