i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
