There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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