wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
