HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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